Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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