and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
