He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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