Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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