Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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