The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize