i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize
