I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
