Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
