I met the friendliest cop last night
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
People in love make me want to vomit
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
