he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
