The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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