I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Little spoons don't ask big questions
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
i believe in u and ur pee
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