So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
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Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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