Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize