If that was your dad, he is hot
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
