These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
