Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
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you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
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I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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