we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
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I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
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Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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