Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm just crazy horny about you
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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