I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Randomize
