Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Randomize
