Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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