Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
