And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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