On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
