ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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