You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
