I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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