next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
