one two three fourrrrnication!
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
