i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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