i barfeds in our rink
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
