"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
