I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
