you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
