I'm lost and stupid without you.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
