We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
