um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
