i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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