Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
