I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
