it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
