I wannas sexs uuuuu
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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