There is no way he is gay with that hair.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
