There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize