I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
