Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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