Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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