I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
