Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
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He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
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The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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