There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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