im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
