May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
