I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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