Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
